Not so sure I like this... "Now what?" feeling

It's been a pretty intense four months, the emotions have been a little "roller coaster'ish", sometimes driven by the stress of organizing the Auction, and sometimes by external circumstances.  But on a whole the last four months have been some of the very best of my life in recent years... The realization that I've achieved what I set out to do, that I've raised in excess of what I needed for my initial plan, creates a huge sense of personal satisfaction, and even a little sense of pride.

The HC tells me, chances are I'll hit a low period soon, that once the adrenaline fueled planning and excitement wears off I may start to feel a bit flat.  And you know what? I think he could be right..... again!

So They Can - Album - Jason's Dance Class

I'm feeling a bit empty today, a bit "now what'ish?" I know this will pass as I step into the next phase of this adventure.  My new focus to find out what I can get donated to take with me for the children of the Holding Hands Children's Home (HHCH) I've already approached the airline I'm flying with and requested an increased baggage allowance to enable me to take items up there, this request was denied. I still have plenty of time to get around that technicality.

So They Can - Album - Jason's Dance Class

So They Can - Album - Jason's Dance Class

                                                                             
Keeping Quiet... As promised I have done my level best to maintain a silence on all things Kenya both at home and on Facebook since Tuesday of last week for the sake of my daughters and friends sanity... but if you visit abs-olutely |ˌabsəˈloōtlē|  you know what you're going to find, you know this is a blog dedicated to following my journey to Nakuru, so like or lump it the silence doesn't apply here. 

I banked the last of the Auction money today, the balance of my account is looking fairly impressive, the sense of achievement is amazing.  There is certainly enough to pay for; my insurance, vaccinations and accommodation at the HHCH this time around, and at a rough guess it looks entirely possible I will be able to help 10 families through the STC MicroFinance programme plus also be able to travel back to Nakuru to volunteer again.  The success of the Auction far exceeded my wildest expectations and the support and encouragement I received is something I will carry in my heart forever.  

This whole experience is proving life changing for me, I foresee big changes on my horizon but the only way those changes are going to happen, is if I stand up and make them happen.  Already I've forced myself to step outside my comfort zone, to face up to what is quite possibly one of my biggest fears, public speaking, and I didn't do too bad a job of it, if I do say so myself.  Only a couple of days after my first taste of public speaking I came across this, The Mechanics of a Good Speech whilst reading Jamie Fitzgerald's blog on his website  Inspiring Performance.  The first point made me not only smile, put it all into perspective.    

Don't be afraid - A survey showed that fear of public speaking comes ahead of death, spiders, heights and confined spaces! C'mon - worse than death? 

Jamie Fitzgerald was in the audience last Monday, as I took my first tentative steps into the world of public speaking. I'd like to think, though this was my first, that it won't be my last time sharing this story, a story that has become an all consuming passion of mine.  And maybe one day Jamie will be in the audience again, and if he is, I would like to think he will see a woman that has grown in confidence and self belief, and I hope he acknowledges it was his belief in me that played such a significant part in that growth.   

Asante
Jacq