Eighteen (18) Days....

Those of you who read my drivel on a semi-regular basis, may have noticed I've not been posting quite so frequently over the past month, the simple reason being, I feel to accurately tell this story, I need to be drawing on my own experiences, not just using information generated by the experiences of others, my time will come, my time is coming......  So I decided todays post would be focused inward, one of how I'm feeling and how I'm preparing for the realisaton of a dream I've held for over 25 years.

It's been just seven short, though equally long months since I sat at the back of a dimly lit Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington and heard Cassandra Treadwell speak of a school in rural Kenya.  Seven months since I heard how this amazing woman had a dream, a dream so similar to mine, a dream she had made a reality.  Seven months since I sent a text to my friend and the reply was  "get off your arse and make it happen" he saw the potential in me to make my own dream come true, more potential than I had ever dared see in myself.

I think the only way to describe how I feel right now is hugely emotional.... Lately my heart is all flutter, my mind is constantly racing away to a continent on the other side of the world and to top it all off I've taken to crying.  Whilst it's true to say I am one of those that wear their heart on their sleeve types, I'm not a cry for the sake of crying type of person. My general disposition is a happy and positive one above all else, but there is no denying the tears have been coming with increasing regularity these days, though these are not all tears of sadness... for I have very little to be sad about.  If nothing else this experience has shown me, I am most certainly one of life's "Lucky Ones", not only has life blessed me with two amazing daughters, family and friends that love me, it's also granted me the opportunity to share my blessings, with those less fortunate.... I'm truly Blessed.

Yet still the tears roll...  be it as I give thanks yet again to those who've stepped up and showen their heart and support, or as I watch a video that shares the joy lighting up the faces of families experiencing fresh water for the first time in their lives, or as we see a child being given a chance at life and education when all hope was lost.

Unless we have a heart of stone, how can these scenes not move us? But the tears that roll down my face are not only tears of joy and gratitude, but also tears of anticipation, because here I am, eighteen days away from my dream becoming reality.  Eighteen days away from stepping forth into the newest chapter in my life.

Dream big, dream without fear - Randy Pausch