Reflection

I've not posted in over a week, and for the sole reason being, I've been doing a lot of reflecting.  Reflection on not only this trip, but on my self, my motives, my motivation and my expectations.  And to be totally honest, reflection has changed nothing, if anything, I'm just more convinced, more certain, more driven that this is the right thing for me to be doing.

In typical Jacqui style I've over-read, over-researched, over-talked this entire development in my life, but that's me and like it or not that's not likely to change.  I like to be prepared, I like to know what I'm facing, as my dad always says "fail to prepare, prepare to fail."

But from a less practical perspective this is a dream, a long held dream, one that has been burning deep inside me, but one I've pushed down and squashed for years.  A dream I've tried to ignore for far too long, but on May 28th, a faint breath of air was blown onto that burning desire, and it burst into life, and now it's a full blown raging fire, and I don't want to extinguish it.

Every video I watch, every photo I see, every article I read, just convinces me more that I need to be living that life, I need to working alongside people with the same passion I hold.  How do I explain to others that a place I've never been to looks like home?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”― Mark Twain

If I discover this isn't everything I've dreamt it to be for the past 26 years at least then I will know, at least it won't be that illusive unanswered question, it won't be the void unfilled.

I simply can't spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?" because what if, this - is the rest of my life.

Asante
Jacq