Can'ts into cans and Dreams into Plans

When did I stop being the Jacqui that said "I couldn't" 

To being the Jacqui that said "tell me why I shouldn't?"

It wasn't so long ago that I would stand on the sideline of life and look on in wonder and with a slight touch of envy at those who dared to follow their dream, that dared to be passionate enough to believe they could do "it."

There was always that voice inside me that said "Isn't that what you've always wanted to do?" which was always answered pretty quickly by that other little voice with "Yeah....but"

Well the "Yeah but" has been kicked into touch, the "Yeah but" doesn't live here anymore.  Back then I always found the reason why I couldn't do something, now I look for the reason why I shouldn't do it.

And for a wee while there I questioned myself, "Is this a midlife crisis?" and whilst some may argue that it is.  If that is the case, so what if it is.  But to answer a question with a question, "Isn't it a crisis to NOT be living your dream, to not be passionate about what you're doing, to not be happy?"

For last three years the dream I've held since I was seventeen years old has grown, and been fueled by some very powerful people that have come into my life.  One person in particular inspired me, with her strength of character, her integrity, her values and compassion.

And as our friendship grew and the months passed we would meet before work and drink coffee and share our life stories, and all the while this amazing woman was preparing to go live another of her dreams, and there I stood, on the sideline as usual, wishing it was me, until one day I decided, 'why can't that be me?"

If this dream was going to become a reality a few things were going to have to change in my life, and it became clear the relationship I was in, was one of those things.  I realised this person would never have intentionally held back, but he would never had fueled my desire either.  The spark had just been ignited, I didn't wanted it snuffed out as it spluttered to life.

And as my Inspiration left on her biggest adventure to date, another door swung wide open, and into my life walked a new friend, who it felt like I'd known forever.  This person was dealing with some issues in his life and he needed a sounding board, and for a while there I was deluded enough to believe it was me helping him through one of the toughest periods of his life. And all the while it was really him making me see I could be whoever I wanted to be.

These two people changed not only my perception of life, but also my perception of me, they made me believe in me.  So here we are today, can'ts have become cans and dreams have become plans" And though you've never met, none of this would have been possible without either of you, for that I thank you.

"You gave me wings and made me fly 

You touched my hand I could touch the sky 

                                                       

You saw the best there was in me 

                                                        

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach 

You gave me faith 'coz you believed 

                                                   

My world is a better place because of you"

Celine Dion