A Little Deflated

Just a couple of little setbacks today, nothing so big I can't cope, nothing so important that it will put me off my goal, just enough to make me feel bllllaaaaarrrgggghhhh.

I've mentioned before that self confidence isn't my strong point, and this is a major factor in my drive to achieve this twenty plus year dream, I want to prove to myself  that I can do this, that I can do something significant.  Foolishly I thought everybody would think this was the greatest idea I've ever had, WRONG, but I'm not doing this for anybody else, I'm doing this for me, and for the people I help along the way.

I want to do, what I want,
I want to live my life,
I want to live my dream....
I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to offend them, but I also don't want to be an old woman looking back on her life and resenting not following her heart.  

I think this is the reason I've tried so hard to fuel my own daughters dreams... I hope I never make them feel that something is too big to try, I hope they know that when they share a dream with me, that I will do everything in MY power to help them achieve it. 


And to top it all off, I got told that my first fundraising idea, was a "No go"I can't hold it where I planned, as the event is a Community event,... oh well onwards and upwards... it's no biggie.  

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” 
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Gripe over.... tomorrows a new one...

Asanti
Jacq
x

So here's what I did..

I thought to myself, "well Edwards, you can either sit on your chuff and keep saying you want to do this stuff, or you can actually see how you can make it happen"


My life has been a good one, but one thing I wasn't gifted with, was an abundance of self confidence.  I can encourage the next guy to the end of the earth, but when it comes to myself, self doubt creeps in pretty quickly.  I came from a upbringing that didn't really push the 'dream', but luckily over the past few years I have been blessed with a couple of friends who really believe I can do it.  


One of these amazing people has already inspired me in more ways than she can possibly imagine.  She lives a life I can only aspire to, she is not only beautiful both inside and out, but a mentor to many, and an inspiration to me. Life has thrown her some pretty tough situations, but every time she has risen to the challenge.  She has taught in places such as Samoa and Tanzania and she now works as a mentor to teachers in the the less travelled parts of Malaysia.  I'm also blessed to have another friend who tells me repeatedly that "I will achieve this dream, I will make this happen, it will happen because I want it to" this might not sound much, but its not a message I've been on the receiving end of very often.  


On arrival back to Auckland after my couple of days away, the first thing I did was look up Cassandra Treadwell's charity So they Can  and from here I emailed her, and explained my dream.  I was fortunate enough to receive a reply back within the hour, thank you Cassandra, it was just the the encouragement I needed to realise this could actually become a reality.